The Flame

Great New York diner
Especially the grilled cheese
Waiter kind of smells

 

Sicilia's

Stuffed crust cheese pizza
Prepare yourself for heaven
Maybe order two

Denim Revival

A hole in the crotch?
Its like it was never there
I'm sorry husband

Midori Sushi

If you like sushi 
But also like throwing up
Bulimics rejoice!

IN-N-OUT Burger

If you're a skeptic
There's a reason there's a line.
Try animal style

Four Points by Sheraton (Boston, MA)

There is one more Point
In the name of this hotel
Then stars I gave it.

Linden Diner (Boston, MA)

Coloring place mats
Would be such an awesome time
If they had crayons.

Mel's Drive-In (Los Angeles, CA)

Some folks like the stars
Some folks like the hot girls
But I like the soup.

Stoddard Fine Food & Ale (Boston, MA)

So much beer on tap
Gourmet meal you'll remember
Unless you're too drunk.

Comedy Vault (Boston, MA)

Intimate comedy
Like shows in your living room
If you lived in a bank.

Fiumicino Airport (Rome, Italy)

Like planes, Rome's pigeons
Fly around the terminal
There's poop everywhere.

Ferihegy Airport (Budapest, Hungary)

You'd think communists
Would have more experience
With how lines should work.

Deyrne (Budapest, Hungary)

Paris in Buda
Great food and fancy decor
Can't read the menu.

Cafe Alibi (Budapest, Hungary)

Good, simple, low cost
And free WiFi from next door
Lets me write reviews.

Szechenyi Bath & Spa (Budapest, Hungary)

Old men in Speedos
Distract my relaxation
Oh my god, my eyes.

Great Market Hall (Budapest, Hungary)

Loads of meat and pastry
Fresh, tasty, traditional
So many things pickled.

Hanil Running Sushi Restaurant (Vienna, Austria)

Viennese sushi
Better than Arizona
Support immigration!

Schloss Schönbrunn (Vienna, Austria)

Gold things everywhere.
Feet hurt from how large it is.
So many bathrooms.

Wurstelstand Am Hoher Markt (Vienna, Austria)

Heard it was the best
Walked twelve blocks just to have lunch
Tasted like hot dogs.

Jüdisches Museum (Vienna, Austria)

Walked over early
Building is nice on outside
Closed til October.

Spanische Reitschule (Vienna, Austria)

Majestic horses
Trotting around in circles
This was 12 euros?

Cafe Aida Prousek (Vienna, Austria)

Sweets and treats to eat
Sugar high at breakfast time
Owner must love pink.

Graben (Vienna, Austria)

Crowded with tourists
They came from so far away
To eat McDonalds.

Rosenberger Marktrestaurant (Vienna, Austria)

Hungry, so we stopped
Cafeteria with kitsch
Wein Cracker Barrel.

Le Meridien Hotel (Vienna, Austria)

Fancy and upscale
Free drinks, soft bed, great staff
Toilet could be stronger.

Cafe Kor (Budapest, Hungary)

Wine, beer, cheese, bread, soup
Steak, salad, duck, and pastry
All for fifty bucks!

Taxi Cabs (Budapest, Hungary)

Cabs are cheap and fast
Do not hail one off the street
Kidnapping ensues.

Szimpla Kert (Budapest, Hungary)

Lots of young people
Both cool and bohemian
Eat it, Joe Stalin

House of Terror (Budapest, Hungary)

Scary, well done look
At World War II and Commies
Glad I'm from the States.

Cari Mamma (Budapest, Hungary)

If your mom could make
Pizza that tastes this awesome
You would visit more.

Jewish Quarter (Budapest, Hungary)

Used to be ghetto
Now some quiet tree-lined streets
And kosher butchers.

Hungarian Jewish Museum (Budapest, Hungary)

Treasures from our past
Make me proud to be a Jew
And then, the Holocaust.

The Great Synagogue (Budapest, Hungary)

Fabulous design
Ornate, striking, impressive
Take that, old churches!

M Restaurant (Budapest, Hungary)

Tastes like it's Top Chef
But priced like Ruby Tuesday's
Thank you, communism.

Budavári Palota (Budapest, Hungary)

Palace built for kings
Destroyed and rebuilt again
This time, with snack bars.

Castle Hill (Budapest, Hungary)

Stunning views, big hills
Wear some comfortable shoes
Cobblestones abound.

Chef Parade (Budapest, Hungary)

Great experience
Tons of paprikash to eat
Also, old tourists.

Duomo (Milan, Italy)

Giant, gorgeous church
Peddlers honor Jesus Christ
By stealing from you.

Santa Maria delle Grazie (Milan, Italy)

Famous church with art
Hoped to see the Last Supper
But closed on Mondays.

Dosso 18 (Milan, Italy)

Tasty, cheap, and quick
Served on a pleasant morning
Should we move here now?

Olive Garden (Orlando, FL)

It's always the same
Good food, low prices, but wait
This one has a bar.

Hyatt Regency Grand Cypress (Orlando, FL)

Giant plush resort
Thousands of rooms, conventions
Parking close? No chance.

Sheraton Safari (Orlando, FL)

It's a Sheraton
Like an old, burned down restaurant
Is still a restaurant.

Budget Rent-A-Car (Orlando, FL)

One group took an hour
Someone clearly that stupid
Should not drive a car.